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Practical Sex Solutions a real-life "Better Sex" memo
Have you ever thought to yourself, "My sex life would be so much better if my partner was a just little more/less _________"? Yes, you have. It's happened. Human beings are all unique, with all sorts of physical and psychological variations that aren't always ideal for the ultimate sex life. Don't despair, however! Technology has brought us leaps and bounds forward in the search for sexual pleasure. Sex toys are no longer limited to cheap, plastic, phallic-shaped things. There is a wide variety of fun, useful products designed to improve our personal, loving sex lives and strengthen our relationships. So if the man of your dreams just happens to be a little under par in the size department, or you find yourself wanting more than he can give, it doesn't mean you can't have ultimately satisfying sex. Read on
Problem 1: "He's too small"
There are a few solutions to this problem, if indeed this is a problem at all. Many men who are below average size-wise have learned to use other parts of their body to their partner's grateful benefit. But if his little guy just isn't satisfying you, there are quite a few things to try. First, try different positions: let him take you from behind while you squeeze your legs together, or lie on your back with your knees at your chest and your feet over his shoulders. These positions allow deeper penetration, tighten your canal and increase sensation for both of you. You can also have him try a penis enhancer. These come in all sizes and shapes to lengthen, thicken, support, and satisfy whatever need you both may have. Third, work your PC muscles. A good set of Smartballs, an updated version of Ben-Wa balls, will strengthen and tighten your internal muscles. With your vaginal muscles primed and toned, you'll be amazed at how much more you'll feel during sex.
Problem 2: "He's too big"
Sorry to disillusion you, guys, but bigger isn't always better. A huge member doesn't always guarantee pleasure; it can often cause pain for women with tight or short vaginal canals. The best solution to this problem is lots of foreplay! Spend lots of time getting her excited using your hands or mouth. When she's ready, slather on a healthy dollop of lubricant and ease in slowly. Silicone-based lubes tend to work best for easing the friction of a tight fit. If he's really long, try a set of penis donuts. These fit tightly at the base of the penis so he'll still receive stimulation, but they're wide enough keep him from going further in than she's comfortable with. Some positions to try: her on top, so she's in complete control of penetration and speed. Side-by-side also limits how deeply he can penetrate.
Problem 3: "He wants it all the time"
If your partner is always after you for sex, and you're never "in the mood," you're setting yourself up for some serious long-term relationship problems. Try not to think of this as his problem; there are a number of solutions you can enact that can directly affect you. Some things to try:
*Make sure you're keeping a healthy sleep schedule Not enough sleep leads to a reduction in testosterone, the hormone that gives you a healthy libido.
*Take active responsibility for your sex drive Figure out what turns you on, don't leave it to your partner to guess. When you pinpoint what gets you in the mood, do it often, share it with your partner, whatever it takes to enjoy yourself.
*Identify and work out issues with your body image The better you feel about your body, the more likely you are to enjoy sex. This may require getting a gym membership or scheduling counseling.
*Initiate sex, even if you're not in the mood By taking the reigns, you take control of the situation, which can be a major turn-on for you. You don't even have to go all the way. Oral sex or even manual stimulation will make your partner equally grateful, and can rev up your own lagging libido.
*Fantasize Let your body and mind get in the mood without the pressure of having to perform or please someone else. Find a fun vibrator or other toy help you enjoy your alone time. The more you exercise your libido, the healthier it'll become.
Problem 4: "He doesn't want it as much as I do"
Biology has set us up for a cruel trick: as we age, a woman's sex drive goes up while a man's libido starts to fall behind. While many women fear this is because they have become less appealing to their partners, in most cases, this couldn't be further from the truth. Here are some things you can do to help yourself out:
*Masturbate When you need to take the edge off, close the door, turn on some music, and spend some quality time with your favorite rabbit vibrator.
*Make sure it's sex you're after Identify whether you're actually craving sex, or if you're looking for love, intimacy, affection, or a stress-reducer. There are other ways of receiving these without depending on sex.
*Know your partner's appetites Learn what turns him on and off. Explore all the options of the things they enjoy, broaden your repertoire of sexual knowledge, and be sure to mix it up. A simple sex swing can make your sex lives seem brand new again.
*Utilize the quickie Sex doesn't always have to be an hour-long excursion. Use lots of lubricant and make the most of whatever time you have.
Take an active role in improving your sexual happiness, and you'll find that you both benefit. Life changes over time, so be sure to communicate, work through whatever issues you may have together, and don't be afraid to try new things. Satisfaction comes to those who work at it!
About the Author: Lance Russell is the author of the book "Recipes for Better Sex: 75 Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life." He is co-owner of PleasureMeNow.com