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7 Steps to Achieving Healthy Self-Esteem

The happiest people are those who do not judge others, live in kindness and love themselves. Do you ever see someone who is perpetually happy and wish you could be like them? You CAN achieve a healthy self-esteem…it takes time and effort. Following are seven steps to help you on your way to becoming a happier, healthier YOU.

One is not required to live by “I have to” or “I must” – everything we do is a result of a decision…a choice. Choices made in our younger years and choices made this morning when we woke up. Everything is a choice: to obey or disobey; to study or not study; to eat right or not eat right. When making these choices, we control everything about our lives including our future and our level of self-awareness. When you see a wise, confident, beautiful person – it’s not luck, it’s choice. Once you realize and accept this, only then can you begin to become who it is you want to be. All of us are given gifts…special gifts and talents. Through self-discovery, we are able to identify these gifts. If we pay attention to who we are and what makes us happy, we will make the right choices to set our own future.

Who are you? Look at yourself and be honest. Write on a piece of paper the things you like (Pros) and don’t like (Cons) about you. If you are (and you should be) your own best friend, you should be able to take a look at the Cons and develop a plan to begin moving those negatives over to the positive side. Likewise, you should take a look at your Pros and develop a plan to make sure those positive attributes remain on the positive side and continue to grow on the inside AND the outside of you. As you work out a plan, try to find people with like personalities who share your same goals. These are the very people that will make great friends and help you stay on your set path.

Talk to yourself! Still using your list of Pros, begin reinforcing the positive attributes of your personality. I AM…. “I am successful”, “I am pretty”, “I am fun!”... every positive thought should be repeated often – YOU are WHAT you THINK!!!

Forgive yourself for screw ups! They happen to all of us! We are as imperfect as our bodies!! Give yourself a break – forgive and move on. You can’t change the past – but you can live in the present and affect the future!

Treat yourself right. Be a friend, a good listener, a giver, not a taker – we feel the best about ourselves when we make someone else smile.

Gratitude will get you everywhere. Give thanks to your creator. Be humble in all you have. Pray for those with cold hearts or sad lives. Really know what you have; all of the gifts, talents, and things you possess. Here today, gone tomorrow…if you live your life with gratitude and love, peace will always be in your presence.

Do not accept your fate dictated by others. Accept only the fate you give yourself. Through acts of kindness and focused determination, you can achieve all that is good in this life. When you believe in kindness and in yourself – you can achieve anything. At that point self-esteem is abundant and so is your life.

Know yourself. Like yourself. Live your life like everyone is only in their underwear!

About the Author: Sandy Heinz is the co-founder and CEO of Good 2ba Girl. She lives in Virginia with her husband and three children. Sandy grew up in a large family (6 sisters, 1 brother) and learned to develop and nurture relationships at a very young age. She left Corporate America in 2002 to embark on a new career of providing insight, educating and helping people build strong relationships. Questions or comments can be directed to Sandy at or visit Gigi’s Community for more tips and information on relationships.

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