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WHAT DO YOU WANT? And do you know how to get it?

This excerpt is taken from 10 Easy Steps to...Finding Your Ideal Soulmate (STEP 2). The details are on my web page below.

Do you find it easy to know what you want and express it clearly? If not, what is holding you back?

Whether we pay homage to God, Nature, the Universe or whatever, there comes a time when we seek help or intervention for something important to us, something that affects our innermost desires. Very often our prayers or requests are not granted and then we tend to lose hope. But we are not likely to have our prayers answered for three main reasons.

First, we tend to pray or make our request when there is a crisis, so we pray with anxiety and desperation, the panic button at full throttle, with lots of doubts and fears, and no real belief in routine miracles or getting a result! Surprise, surprise, nothing much happens, which then confirms the lurking doubt within us that our god doesnt truly care or isnt really there!

Second, any prayer to a higher unseen power takes a massive leap of faith and belief in what is possible and we tend to lack such blind faith.Third, and most important, we fail to ask specifically for what we want because we have not stopped to think about it clearly. Instead we cling to a generalised idea of our situation a kind of cure-all Help me please! plea because too many things in our life need sorting out. We are afraid to make our request specific in case it might seem unrealistic, unreasonable or even selfish to others.

But that attention to specifics is what helps to provide focus, and once we start to focus we begin to energise the desire, to make it an intention rather than just a fleeting wish, which then moves people and the environment to help us to achieve it. In fact, to show how the Universe delivers when we have faith, just think of any item, like a type and colour of car, and focus on it for a while. From that moment on, a rush of cars conforming to that type and colour will come into your vision; the articles which draw your attention in magazines are likely to relate to it and unexpected occurrences around that type of car will begin to happen. The power of thought is phenomenal for fulfilling our wishes. Sooner or later, circumstances will conspire in a series of coincidences to give us that car, if it was our desire. We are on earth to be happy and healthy; to have our desires fulfilled. However, it is a focus on negativity which keeps us feeling unhappy.

There is no great mystery to fulfilling our dreams. So long as we can articulate exactly what we want, we can always achieve it with action and commitment. I am in total agreement with Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner (NLP: The New Technology of Achievement) when they say, In NLP we believe that anyone can do anything. If its not possible the world of experience will let us know. Well find out by doing, not by thinking that we cant.

Magical Ingredients
In fact, I believe that we can have anything we want in our lives if we have five simple attributes, what I call my magical ingredients:
1. The self-belief that we can make it happen.
2. The faith in our abilities, and a higher power, to carry it out.
3. The action and effort to bring it to fruition.
4. The willingness to pay the price in focus and commitment
5. The COURAGE and patience to see it through.

There is nothing so great about my suggestion. It is the power of thought and belief that has built our world. When I use my computer I am writing on someone elses thought which they brought into being through their belief. When I use a microwave, I use someone elses thought, the direct manifestation of their faith in what is possible. I remember the fear around radiation when we first started using it. Seems such a long time ago! When I drive my car I am enjoying Henry Fords thought and experimentation for my comfort and journey.

Every time I turn on the electric light we take for granted I am using Thomas Edison thought and the personal courage and determination that took him 10,000 attempts and a massive leap of faith to get it working. And as you read my book you are sharing my thought and creation, the end result and confirmation of a deep faith and belief that I could actually write a book for public consumption, take action on it and find the courage and determination to bring it to life! I simply asked, believed in it, took action, and it was given.

Experience, and lots of achievements, have taught me that every thought and creation is marked by eight stages:
1. Excitement 5. Faith
2. Fear 6. Action
3. Possibility 7. Commitment
4. Belief 8. Result

Most people get stuck on stage 2 (FEAR) so very little happens to them to reinforce the talent and ability they know they possess. I have few fears so I get a result EVERY TIME, even if it is not the result I wanted. That only fires me up to keep trying until I get the desired outcome. There is nothing more exciting than creating your own reality, seeing an idea take life from nothing except your thought and watching it evolve nothing! Others might only reach stage three in their ideas so they end up without any action. A few might make it to stage six but lack the stickability to produce the right results, while the ones who have the five essential ingredients mentioned earlier (my magic formula) will triumph in the end. They will reach a result, no matter how long it takes.

If you believe it, you can create it. Your focus and thought processes will eventually find the means and resources to do so and your commitment will give it life. This applies particularly to finding the right soulmate. If you believe someone special is there for you, your faith, action and commitment will bring him into your world. Its your level of resistance and non-belief that will keep her away.

Self-belief and faith are two powerful tools in getting us what we require, but without the action to bring it to life, and the courage and commitment to stick with it, we will always remain dreamers. Self-belief and faith are also governed by our past experiences. If we have not done very well in our own eyes, or have not achieved the success we have sought, both of those ingredients gradually diminish as we brand ourselves failures and hide behind our fears. We come to dread trying and experimenting with anything new because we fear having to face the consequences of any action which fail to come up to expectations. Yet consequences are part and parcel of results. We cannot escape them. The only way to cope with them is to get more of the results we desire.

About the Author: ELAINE SIHERA (Ms CYPRAH is a British writer, media contributor columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University, Elaine is a consultant for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. An intelligent, confident expert. Elaine is the author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (all available on Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Achievement Awards.

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