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Single and thriving: 5 secrets for a happier, more fulfilling life

If you're single and dissatisfied with the way your life is going, you can turn things around by seeing your situation from a new, more positive perspective.

Many single people are stuck in a "victim" mentality, feeling as if outside forces are conspiring against them to make them miserable. But to break free of that mindset and begin living a happier, more fulfilling life, you have to be mature enough to accept responsibility for your own destiny.

Accepting responsibility for the way things are going sounds scary, but the fact is that this new perspective is incredibly empowering. It means that you can control your future by how you think and what you do today. While that may seem quite obvious, most people never put that principle into practice. Here are five secrets that can help you break free of your present situation to create the tomorrows you've always dreamed of.

1. Live life now, instead of postponing it until you get married.

Consciously or subconsciously, many single people think their life can't be happy until they meet and marry the person of their dreams. Unfortunately, the calendar is turning for all of us. Instead of putting your life on hold, start exploring the possibilities that are open to you right now--today. Be bold. Sample new interests and experiences. Start in small ways, and slowly if you must, but break your inertia and start doing. Not only will you enjoy your life more, but you'll also become a much more attractive person in the process.

2. Rethink the way you value yourself.

You are not less valuable as a person because no one has chosen you for marriage yet. You have intrinsic worth as a person regardless of your job or marital status. Don't let friends or society dictate your importance. Being married is no more "normal" or "acceptable" than being single. Remember that it's the goal of advertising to make you feel dissatisfied or incomplete. Don't fall for it.

3. Find something you can be passionate about, besides your career.

Jobs come and go, and if you invest too much of your emotional capital in your employment, you're setting yourself up for a fall. Besides, you are not your job. You're you, an independent, worthwhile person who happens to work at your job. Whether it's working on a political campaign, supporting a charity, or enjoying a hobby, a passionate cause will enrich your life--and just might help you meet your future spouse.

4. Be grateful and appreciative for what you have, not depressed over what you don't have.

A sure way to make yourself miserable is to be jealous toward people who seem to have more or be more than yourself. But we often overlook the good things in our life that we should be thankful for. Focusing on lack and constantly complaining about it turns you into a whiner, a person that people avoid. On the other hand, being grateful for your health, job, and all your material blessings makes you feel fortunate. Gratitude and happiness are inseparably bound together.

5. Live with a sense of expectancy.

If you develop the habit of expecting good things to happen to you instead of bad, you'll find that pleasant surprises will suddenly start occuring in your life. Whether you call it the law of attraction or answered prayer, this phenomenon is one of the greatest joys of life. You can turn your life completely around when you meet each day by looking for something positive to happen. You can't make beneficial things occur just by wishing for them, but if you cultivate the habit of recognizing the good experiences, you'll soon see that they far outweigh the negatives in your life. Focusing on the right things is key to being a happier, more fulfilled person.

About the Author: Jack Zavada is a baby boomer single who has authored four novels and over 5,000 magazine and newspaper articles. His work has been translated into 43 languages. His web site is

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