Vectors and 3D Models
Local Search - Self Help
Weather Information
Get the App for Smartphones and Tablets

Go Back

WhmSoft Free Articles Directory
Free Articles for Reprint
Free Articles to Publish
Free Articles for Newsletters
Videos to Watch

Page Generation Date and Time:
05/27/2020 18:19:15

Free the Animation VR / AR
Play to reveal 3D images and 3D models!
Demonstration A-Frame / Multiplayer
Android app on Google Play
vlrPhone / vlrFilter
Project of very low consumption, radiation and bitrate softphones, with the support of the spatial audio, of the frequency shifts and of the ultrasonic communications / Multifunction Audio Filter with Remote Control!

Alexa Data

Go To Articles Directory Home Page

To get the current article, - See Below (at the bottom of the page) -.
For top news titles, see below.
Web sites and videos listed in this page are frequently updated.
If you find that this page is useful (quality of web sites, images and videos, ...), you can add it to your favorites.
Bookmark Page !

Tell a Friend:

With your mobile phone (WAP / I-Mode / iPhone / PDA), for free:
The Top News -
The Daily Files -
All the Directory Files -

Web version of feeds:
Podcast Music -
Daily Files -

You can play the Guitar Drum Revolution game (flash game) by following the link below:
Play Guitar Drum Revolution Game

You can play free online games (flash games) by following the link below:
Free Online Games

Play the samples below:
Marilyn Se MarieAbductionFlash PinballBoom Boom VolleyballTurtix

You can view the people (celebrities) news and the front page news (with videos, images and constant updates) by following the link below:
View Recent News
or by visiting the WhmSoft Service blog:
News Photos Slideshows

Article Keyword Videos to Watch
Self Help
Click on the image to start the video.

Related Topics
Images - Links - Articles


Related Images

Article Category Videos to Watch
Self Help
Go to the Videos Pages

Flattery for Self Development

“Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself," - Dale Carnegie.

The path of personal growth has three stations that are visited repeatedly on a spiral path from now to your eventual full self-fulfillment. Self-awareness to understand who you are right now. Self-design to figure out who you want to become. Self-transformation to take you from where you are to where you want to be. Each station is essential and requires its own approach.

In the previous article I described an effective tool for self-awareness and self-transformation - your personal boundaries. How to change them and what effect that would have on your identity and your health. Today I continue with another simple way to understand your self and the selves of others - compliments.

Do you enjoy being complimented or do you feel self conscious when someone applauds your talents, your identity, your actions: "You are a wonderful speaker!" "You are beautiful!" "You can make really good jokes!" There are three ways to handle a compliment - acceptance, rejection, redirection. Most people do not know how to accept a compliment, instead they reject or redirect it. Which is unfortunate because sincere compliments add to your cache of positive examples, and you can rely on them later to support empowering beliefs about your self. Many people will shy away from a compliment by claiming modesty. Often behind modesty hides insecurity. Let's look closer at the three ways to handle a compliment.

You accept a compliment when you reply with a "Yes", "Thank you", a smile or a nod. On the inside it feels like the compliment is going in, that you have an internal agreement. You reject a compliment when you reply "It's nothing", "No big deal", give a counterexample, wave your hand to the side or over the shoulder to send the compliment packing. On the inside it feels like the compliment was brushed aside, that it has little to do with who you are.

You redirect a compliment when in the response you change its meaning. To understand this a little better, I will use a simple four way classification of the meaning of compliments and responses: behavior, identity, environment and emotional state. For example, when I say: "You are eloquent," that's a compliment about your identity. If you reply with:
"I did speak well," - that's about your behavior.
"Thank you, I am eloquent," - that's about your identity
"I had great notes," - that's about the environment.
"I was feeling energized," - that's about your emotional state.

So when you accept a compliment, your response keeps the original meaning by matching the class, and when you redirect it, your response changes the meaning by mismatching the class. A particularly frequent redirect is to respond to a compliment about identity with a comment about behavior or emotional state. I call such redirects "downshifting", because your identity includes your behaviors and your emotional states. It is much more empowering to know that you are smart, then to know that you simply passed an exam or that you just felt smart for half an hour.

"Upshifting" is also possible, when a compliment about behavior, environment or emotional state generates response about identity, e.g. "You finished the exam first," - "Yes, I am smart." These happen occasionally with self-assured and confident people.

Master how to accept compliments - they are your gifts for building empowering beliefs. It is healthy to accept a compliment at its face value by matching the class. To do that simply listen to the compliment, acknowledge it with a "Thank you," and imagine the compliment going inside the hidden power cache of your mind.

Sincerely complimenting people not only gives you a chance to help them feel good, but also enables you to easily conversationally read them. By noticing where they downshift or upshift you will know precisely what they think about themselves.

Compliments are one simple way that language can deeply influence who you are. An even more powerful way to literally change perceived reality is with presuppositions. In the next article I will delve into the why and how of presuppositions, that are also often called frames.

You’ve just read TIP #75 FOR CREATING AN EXTRAORDINARY AND MEANINGFUL LIFE brought to you by Holographic University. To get the next Tip visit us at:

May You Be Happy!
- Arman Darini, Ph.D.

About the Author: Arman Darini, Ph.D. is the director of Holographic University, the author of weekly Tips for Creating an Extraordinary and Meaningful Life, and a certified international NLP Trainer. As the leader of a dynamic team of Life Trainers and Coaches, Arman's motto is "I don't believe in your limitations". To learn more about Arman, visit

Recommended Web Site(s):

Easy Articles Home Page - Articles Directory

Recommended WhmSoft Web Sites, Feeds and WAP Address:

WhmSoft Software Home Page - Software
WhmSoft Services Login Page - Music and Images
WhmSoft Moblog Home Page - Blog - Photo Gallery
WhmSoft Free Online Games Home Page - Flash Games
WhmSoft Services RSS Feed - Daily Music, Image and 3D Flash Animation
Classical Music with Drum RSS Feed - MIDI and MP3 Files
Classical Music with Drum Podcast Feed - MP3 and MP3 Files
WAP / I-Mode / PDAs - Daily Music, Image and Flash Animation

Home Pages:

WhmSoft Free Articles for Reprint Home Page
WhmSoft Services Home Page - Music and Images
Copyright (C) 2006-2020 WhmSoft - All Rights Reserved.