LIE - My Unhappiness Is Someone Else
This is the lie that says that someone else or some external situation is responsible for my unhappiness. It is the lie that says I am not responsible in any way for my own unhappiness or misery. It is someone else's fault. It is the lie that says I have no choice in the matter. It's really the ultimate blame game and its' not a good way to live!
Well, what is wrong with this picture? The problem with this false belief is that as long as someone else is the reason I am unhappy, I don't have to take personal
responsibility for my life. I don't have to take ownership of my life. I can move out of the driver's seat to the "victim" seat. Whoa is me! What I have really done is handed over my emotional well being to someone else. After all it's not my fault- right? It may be easy to blame something or someone else for my situation but it certainly isn't any way to have any joy or live the abundant life God wants me to live. The bottom line is I really do have a choice! When I come to that realization, its liberating!!! No one can have that much power over me unless I give it to them. Plain and simple! Healthy and mature people take personal responsibility for their choices and their emotions! I like the way Dr. William Backus, a Christian psychologist, expresses it in his book "Telling Yourself the Truth. "People don't make you angry, sad, sick, etc. - you allow yourself to be angry, sad, sick, or whatever the negative feelings you are
experiencing. Indulging in temper tantrums is learned behavior. You learned how to throw temper tantrums and you can learn to stop." Amen to that!
So if the choice is yours that no one else can make you unhappy unless you allow them to, then I believe it is also true that no one else can ultimately make you happy either. That responsibility is also yours. It's a choice you make!
You can choose to be happy regardless of circumstances or the people around you. Your lack of happiness is not someone else's fault! When we realize that we are in the driver's seat, that we do have choices and are not powerless in life, life can really be exciting. We can get a new sense of ownership about life and with that does come greater joy and greater contentment!
About the Author: Janet Daughtry, MDiv, CBC, is a Certified Christian Life Coach for women. Visit her website at CoachJanet.com.