Televangalist Pat Robertson has really disappointed me. Recently he went on his show and said that the CIA should assasinate Venezualan Commununist President Hugo Chavez and then - here's the disappointing part - he backed down and took it all back. Oh, C'mon Pat! Have the courage of your wackiness and stand your ground no matter how goofball what you say is. If you're going to be wrong, the best kind of wrong is indignantly wrong.
I shouldn't say this, but I think Pat Robertson is onto something. What the US foreign policy has really been missing badly is insane religious extremists, and this would have just fit the bill perfectly. Think about it: Don't you think it would strike fear into the heart of some of these terrorist nations if they new some of our nut jobs were out there hell bent on a little payment in kind for all the terrorism aimed at us and our allies? America makes the most cars in the world. America makes the most bombs in the world. You do the math, terrorists.
Anyways, it's just a thought. What I'd like to know from the Reverend Robertson is whether he thinks God doesn't know who should be on this earth or not. This guy Chavez, sure he's been shooting his mouth off pretty bad, but I really think that if Jehovah were having second thoughts, he could have taken the guy out on his own with no help from our CIA. Perhaps God has a purpose for Chavez. Perhaps Chavez will repent, become a born again Christian, and give the United States all the oil that Venesuala can pump for absolutely free. Pat Robertson would sure have egg on his face then, wouldn't he?
Listen, I think the good reverend is seriously overestimating the CIA. They haven't pulled off a good assassination since Mao Tse Dung. (Oops. That was a secret. Forget I told you that). These days they don't have it in them to do even an easy political murder.
Think I'm wrong? Watch this. Hey, CIA! Why don't you assasinate me? Yeah, that's right. You come out to Wisconsin and take me out. You have my permission, but I know you won't do it, because you can't. Don't give me that Presidential order crap. Even if you wanted to you couldn't.
Okay. I'm going to take a break, make some tea, read my National Enquirer and give them a little time to get over here, which they won't, because they can't because the CIA is ineffective.
See you in a bit.
I'm back. Eva Longoria is really a man. Brad Pitt really isn't. By my watch, an entire forty seven minutes have gone by and you'll notice that I'm still typing this and not only that - I'm doing it with my back turned towards the door. The CIA has not shown up in that time and they have not killlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllldfmmmas
About the Author: Steve Sommers is the author of Breakfast with the Antichrist. Get a sneak peek at his upcoming novel, Rexroi, at http://www.blogcharm.com/rexroi