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Bouncing Back After Setback And Disappointment
Bouncing back after you have a setback or after a major disappointment starts with acceptance. You need to be able to accept where you are right now. In order for a ball to bounce, it needs something to bounce out of, right? So do you. If you want to start bouncing back after a setback or failure, you need to put your feet solidly on the ground of reality.
A natural reaction to setback and disappointment is denial. Escape is common reaction too.
One of my favorite ways to avoid accepting failures is to binge eat. When Iím hiding in a box of cookies (not literally, of course), it may feel good in the moment, but I always feel worse later. Many people hide in drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, and many other forms of addiction or self destructive behavior. Unfortunately, none of these actions will help you bounce back.
You must be willing to accept the mess youíre in. If you want to whine about it while youíre accepting it, thatís fine. Whine. Cry. Gnash your teeth. Do whatever helps you really feel and accept the pain of what youíve lost. Once youíve faced the mess, youíre ready to start bouncing back from it.
The next step in bouncing back is developing optimism. You canít go from what you donít want to what you want if you donít believe that you can. Optimism is the fuel that will get you moving to make a change in your life.
Of course, itís tough to be optimistic when youíve failed yet again. When the setbacks and disappointments pile up, it can feel like optimism is an idiotic state that only the totally clueless can be in.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to be optimistic when youíre starting over AGAIN. As an author who has racked up over 2000 rejection letters in the last couple decades, Iíve experienced many times when I thought optimism was totally impossible.
So how did I find optimism again so I could bounce back and try again?
I learned to find faith.
ďKeep the faith,Ē is often used to encourage people to stay committed to a religion or spiritual practice. But thatís not the way Iím using the words faith and keep the faith.
To keep the faith when youíre starting over means to remember a very important fact about life: the past does not predict the future. Just because something bad happened in the past, just because you failed the last 100 or 1000 times you tried something doesnít mean youíll fail again. If you remember this, you can find faith that something good can still come your way even after youíve experienced a whole bunch of bad.
When you apply optimism and faith to your life, after you accept your situation, you have done what you need to do so you can start bouncing back.
About the Author: Andrea Rains Waggener, author of Healthy, Wealthy & Wise, offers advice and resources to help bounce back after disappointment at http://www.startingoversupportgroup.com.