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Grilled Cheese Madonna

I just figured out how to make grilled cheese sandwhiches on my George Forman grill. I gotta tell you that I love that thing - about my half my meals in 2005 were cooked courtesy of that former boxer's genius, which means if not for him I'd be only half the man I am now. Or at least I'd be a considerably slimmer man.

I'm not going to give you the recipe for grilled cheese sandwhiches a la George Forman, by the way. It's really just exactly how you make them normally, except you press them between the two hot plates (oh wait. That is the recipe).

It reminds me of a fast food they used to have in Greece called 'Canadian Toast', which was just a sandwhich with various things in it grilled between two hot plates and scrunched together. Back in those days the Greeks really hated America (not Americans, so much - just the country) and so as a signal to English speakers whose business they wanted they would call everything 'Canadian' or to a lesser extent 'British'. I remember that I used to get pizza occasionally at 'Canadian Pizza' since Canada, we all know, is renowned for their pizza. Right?

I don't know how the Greeks currently feel about America or Americans since I haven't visited in quite a long time. Seeing as how the whole world hates us these days, it's a pretty safe bet that they probably do, also.

Now that I've been making all of these grilled cheese sandwhiches (Only one today, because I ran out of cheese) I've decided to look carefully at each one I make, in case one happens to have an image of the Virgin Mary burned into it. I'm constantly reading how somebody has sold a piece of toast over the internet with her on it and I figure that sooner or later one of the Grilled Cheeses I'm making just by chance will have to look like her. Then I'll just put it up for sale on the web and make thousands.

Don't worry about why the Lord God Almighty would choose to manifest his divine presence on a piece of bread. He does! That's all you need to know about this. And when he chooses to do so, it's a message of love, grace and forgiveness for all mankind. Really.

I already found one of my grilled cheeses that looked like Michaelangelo's creation scene on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. But I ate it, because, Man, I was hungry. That one probably wasn't worth a lot because it's the Virgin Mary that's so special to people and that's the one I'll save.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'll probably just eat the Virgin Mary, too.

About the Author: Steve Sommers is the author of Breakfast with the Antichrist. His new novel, Rexroi, along with the best of Australian Science Fiction - is available as an ebook at, OR if you ABSOLUTELY need to turn pages when you read - at

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