Vectors and 3D Models
Local Search - Humor
Weather Information
Get the App for Smartphones and Tablets

Go Back


WhmSoft Free Articles Directory
Free Articles for Reprint
Free Articles to Publish
Free Articles for Newsletters
Videos to Watch


Page Generation Date and Time:
03/19/2024 11:36:29

 
Free the Animation VR / AR
Play to reveal 3D images and 3D models!
Demonstration A-Frame / Multiplayer
Android app on Google Play
 
vlrPhone / vlrFilter / vlrMemos
Project of very low consumption, radiation and bitrate softphones / Multifunction Audio Filter with Remote Control / App to measure the quality of the voice!



 
 
Alexa Data
 

Go To Articles Directory Home Page

To get the current article, - See Below (at the bottom of the page) -.
For top news titles, see below.
Web sites and videos listed in this page are frequently updated.
If you find that this page is useful (quality of web sites, images and videos, ...), you can add it to your favorites.
Bookmark Page !

Tell a Friend:



With your mobile phone (WAP / I-Mode / iPhone / PDA), for free:
The Top News - http://www.whmsoft.net/services/wap/news.php
The Daily Files - http://www.whmsoft.net/services/wap/get.php
All the Directory Files - http://www.whmsoft.net/services/wap/choose.php

Web version of feeds:
Podcast Music - http://www.whmsoft.net/services/web/wpodcast.php
Daily Files - http://www.whmsoft.net/services/web/wget.php

You can play the Guitar Drum Revolution game (flash game) by following the link below:
Play Guitar Drum Revolution Game


You can play free online games (flash games) by following the link below:
Free Online Games

Play the samples below:
Kung Fu TrainerKore KartY2k TetrisDoraPyramid Runner
Kung Fu TrainerKore KartY2k TetrisDoraPyramid Runner

You can view the people (celebrities) news and the front page news (with videos, images and constant updates) by following the link below:
View Recent News
or by visiting the WhmSoft Service blog:
News Photos Slideshows


Article Keyword Videos to Watch
Humor
Click on the image to start the video.



Related Topics
Images - Links - Articles

Munich


Related Images



Article Category Videos to Watch
Humor
Go to the Videos Pages


How I Feel About Pirates

Pirates are BAD because they steal booty from other people. The only people that should get to steal booty from other people is me. Also, I should get a pet parrot. And get to say, 'Arrrrr!' whenever I want.

Pirates are GOOD because when I do pretend I have a pet parrot, and I walk around saying, 'Arrrrr!', people know I'm acting like a pirate. If pirates had never existed, people might think I had a speech impediment, and some sort of kinky parrot fetish. That could be awkward.

Pirates are BAD because if you cross a pirate, you might get keelhauled. I don't know whether I even have a 'keel', or where exactly I might be keeping it, but I'm pretty sure I don't want some filthy one-eyed jackass with parrot poop on his shoulder hauling it anywhere. Especially if having my 'keel' 'hauled' involves some kind of kinky parrot sex. Really, I'm not into that. Honestly.

Pirates are GOOD because most of them are missing some body part or other, which makes them cool and mysterious. Anybody with an eyepatch or a hook for a hand, or a wooden leg, or whalebone-carved genitalia has a compelling life story to tell. Quite possibly in a high squeaky voice like a preteen girl, but still -- what a story.

Pirates are BAD because I'm guessing that most of the pirate-related injuries stem from hand-hook mishaps. Once a shark or octopus or giant slavering sea cucumber has bitten off your hand, you probably forget about the hook. And before you know it, you're wearing a patch, carrying a cane, and whittling yourself a new whalebone winkie. It's either that, or pirates run with scissors a lot more than I'd realized.

Pirates are GOOD because some pirates are baseball players -- in Pittsburgh, to be exact. Never mind that Pittsburgh is six hundred miles from the nearest ocean; apparently, these Pirates darken the waters of the Monongahela River, marauding the muddy shallows in search of... well, I don't know, really. Coal barges? Discarded teamsters? Industrial runoff? Who can say? Whatever it is, it sure as hell seems to keep them distracted from winning baseball games, so it must be important.

Pirates are BAD because some pirates are 'corporate raider' pirates. And I certainly don't want some pasty old guy in a suit taking over my office, making me 'walk his plank' and 'swab his poop deck'. I don't care how much money you paid for the company; you'd better keep that whalebone wang away from me, or I'll bury your treasure where the sun don't shne, matey. 'Arrrrr!'

Pirates are GOOD because they always keep intricate, detailed maps to indicate where they've buried their booty. Apparently, the practice is to draw the map, then immediately tear it into small pieces and hand them out, so other people can have a shot at digging up the gold. Personally, I'm not so much interested in the loot, but if I could get the piece that shows me how to get to the outlet mall without three hours of traffic gridlock, that would be super.

But pirates are BAD because to get their maps and booty and such, you've got to battle them first. And for a bunch of one-eyed hook-handed parrot-poking whalebone-wienered drunkards, they apparently put up a pretty good fight. I guess all that running around with scissors really pays off when it comes to swordfighting and swashbuckling and the like. So even though they could get you to the outlet mall, chances are, they won't. You might as well ask Sanjeev at the SlushyMart for directions, as much trouble as it's going to be.

So, pirates are BAD. But not that bad.

And that's how I feel about pirates.


About the Author: Charlie Hatton is an overzealous blogger and aspiring standup comedian offering smart, sophisticated humor about life, language, and the size of his naughty bits. He writes semi-daily and mostly randomly at Where the Hell Was I?




Recommended Web Site(s):

Easy Articles Home Page - Articles Directory

Recommended WhmSoft Web Sites, Feeds and WAP Address:

WhmSoft Software Home Page - Software
WhmSoft Services Login Page - Music and Images
WhmSoft Moblog Home Page - Blog - Photo Gallery
WhmSoft Free Online Games Home Page - Flash Games
WhmSoft Services RSS Feed - Daily Music, Image and 3D Flash Animation
Classical Music with Drum RSS Feed - MIDI and MP3 Files
Classical Music with Drum Podcast Feed - MP3 and MP3 Files
WAP / I-Mode / PDAs - Daily Music, Image and Flash Animation

Home Pages:

WhmSoft Free Articles for Reprint Home Page
WhmSoft Services Home Page - Music and Images
Copyright (C) 2006-2024 WhmSoft - All Rights Reserved.