How To Keep The Romance In Your Marriage.
As with most good things, a long and satisfying marriage takes time and effort - on the part of both spouses. Your reward is happiness of the highest order.
The feeling of love brings out the Giver in each of us, and the Giver's instincts make marriages great. We feel like meeting the emotional needs of the one we love; we feel like protecting that person from our Love Busters; we feel like giving our undivided attention, and we feel like being open and honest. But when we are not in love, and our Taker calls the shots, we don't feel like doing any of those things. In fact, we feel like doing the opposite. That's why so many marriages become so painful when love is lost.
The Giver's instincts deposit love units, but the Taker's instincts withdraw them. When you are in love, the Giver keeps a marriage passionate. But even under ideal conditions love can be lost momentarily, and when that happens the Taker can do things to ruin any hope of love returning.
• Be Committed
Be committed to each other and to making the marriage work. A generation or two ago, marriages were stable and divorce was not as widespread as it is today. We believe this was due to the commitment of people entering into the marriage relationship. Divorce should not be an option.
• Choose the right mate
Young people get caught up in the romance and the physical attraction, and they don't consider whether the object of their attraction will help or hinder them in their
spiritual development. Of course, the foundation for choice should have been laid years before. Just because a person falls in "love", doesn’t necessarily mean that person you "love" would make a good spouse. Hormones need to be governed by reason.
God made us creatures of choice. In fact, our lives are a product of the choices we make.
• Don't Withhold Love And Affection
Don't withhold love and affection or use it as a weapon to get your own way. God has given specific instructions about the physical relationship between husband and wife.
• Listen to one another
Keep the lines of communication open. Few things can be more detrimental to a marriage
than the refusal of one of the partners to discuss problems. Work it out together if you can, but don't hesitate to get outside help in the form of Christian counseling if it is required.
• Don't neglect your spouse
Don't neglect your spouse, while you are raising your children. Long after the children have left home, you will need each other. A loving relationship must be built while the children are growing up.
• COME TO AN AGREEMENT ABOUT THE HANDLING OF FINANCES.
Sometimes this is a joint effort. But sometimes one partner is better equipped to handle the family finances. The other partner needs to defer to the one with this gift.
• TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH
Take care of your health, so that you can enjoy your relationship with one another for many years.
• GIVE EACH OTHER ROOMFOR INDIVIDUAL GROWTH
Give each other room for individual growth and for personal likes and dislikes. One may be a sports fan, the other may not. Not all things have to be shared.
• BE WILLING TO SAY, "I'M SORRY"
Say ‘Sorry’, when you are wrong. Truly mean it, and try to make improvements.
• BE WILLING TO FORGIVE
Be willing to forgive when you have been wronged by your spouse.
• SUPPORT EACH OTHER IN THE DISCIPLINING OF THE CHILDREN.
Parents should support each other in the disciplining of the children. Failure to do so will cause the marriage and the children to suffer.
About the Author: Abagaile Odalis is a family and relationship professional with 12 years of experience in this field. She has written two revolutianry books on how to Seduce Women and the other to Attract Men .