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Adoption: Some Honest Reflections
We have attempted to have a child for the past 3 years of marriage. We actually got pregnant 9 months ago, but my wife miscarried. At least we know that we're not infertile. Now we are just trying and praying. During this time, we've contemplated adoption. As we've contemplated adopting a child, I've worried about three main issues: Money, Love, and Process. In the following paragraphs I'll go into these issues in more detail. You must keep in mind that these are only preliminary thoughts on adopting as a possible parent. I haven't yet done thorough research.
Finances are tight. We are still getting ourselves out of much debt due to very impulsive spending problems during the start of our marriage. I had been desiring to put off having children, but my wife reminded me that having a child while tight financially is better than not having a child but having more cash. Children beat out money. (At least they should.) We're willing to make the sacrifice. Although this mindset is just fine for having your own kids, I'm guessing that an adoption agency has tighter financial standards for who they accept. Not to mention the fees. At this point, I don't think we can afford adoption.
When the subject of adoption originally was mentioned in our marriage, I didn't give it serious consideration. My heart has always been set on having my own children. I've always thought part of the love I'd experience for my child would be the knowledge that he is from me. (You got me, I'm hoping for a son.) As I've considered it further, however, I sincerely trust I could love an adopted child just the same as my own. Love is more a committment of the heart than a mystical feeling of oneness. Additionally the thought that I "saved" this child would provide great feelings throughout parenthood. Possibly I'd dare to think of myself as this child's hero!
The third issue I've dealt with while contemplating adoption is a fear of the drawn out process. I regularly hear about negative stories of the time and cost required to adopt a child. An acquaintance of mine even went through a situation where there surfaced a possibility that the birth mother would take the child back into custody six or so months after the fact. I'd want to be sure of the outcome before starting the necessary steps. I also read of occasions of adoptive parents traveling to foreign countries to find a child with only the expense of a plane ticket. Could it be so easy?
Here's the truth: I haven't researched adoption adequately yet to know the truth about these money, love, and process concerns. Well, I have figured out I will love whatever child with whom God blesses us. This article is only the beginning step in my journey to come to grips with the issues. I have set up a web site at which I plan to receive articles from others considering adoption or adoptive parents. You are invited to post an article as well. No one needs to be an expert -- I'm not! You don't need to be a great writer. Your knowledge on the topic matters much more.
About the Author: Matt Garimentis invites you to visit adoption articles to read a compilation of adoption articles by other expert authors. Publishers, visit adoption website content for a distinct version of this content.