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Use Eye Contact Effectively for Better Relationships
Do you ever wonder what the secret is of those who are socially more successful than you?
Researchers who study human relationships have discovered a really important difference between people who make friends easily, and those people who have a hard time making relationships happen.
What did these researchers discover that could help you make more friends and be more socially successful?
One really big difference between those people who are socially confident and those who are shy, is that socially successful people make a lot of eye contact with people that they are talking to.
The good news is that you can also start using more frequent eye contact with other people and you will appear more socially confident and desirable.
If you never make eye contact with your conversation partner, you can make other people think that you are nervous. People may decide that you are untrustworthy or they may even think you are lying if you never look them in the eye.
On the other hand, if you make too much eye contact, or if you stare too hard at other people, they will feel uncomfortable. Staring too directly at another person can be intimidating.
You need to learn a good balance between making eye contact and looking away.
Most people in North America, especially if they are Caucasian, prefer to make a lot of eye contact when they are talking to others. This isn’t true of all cultures however.
If it really bothers you to look directly into another person's eyes, you can look at the person's face without focusing solely on the eyes. Let your eyes go a little bit out of focus, and look in the general area of the other person’s eyebrows or nose. This is close enough to the eye region so that you will seem to be looking into their eyes.
Keep the majority of your focus on the other person when you are making conversation with them. If you glance around the room too much, or look too frequently at other people, your conversation partner may assume that you are bored, or that you are looking around for someone else you would rather talk with.
Don't stare at other people too intensely however! A very intense, unblinking start can make your conversation partner feel very uncomfortable. It can be very unpleasant to be on the receiving end of an intense stare, particularly at close range.
Smile more often and nod at what your conversation partner is saying to show that you are following the conversation. Make your gaze less intimidating by looking at the other person’s entire face, instead of staring deeply into their eyes.
Practice looking at your conversation partner's face while you speak, and mix in lots of smiles and nods. Keep your face relaxed so that your smiles don’t look phony.
While the other person is talking, let your facial expression change while you are listening to them. Occasionally glance away briefly while you talk or while you are listening, but keep bringing your attention back to the person you are talking with.
Show other people that you are really paying attention to them and that you enjoy talking with them. Then they will be much more likely to want to have more conversations with you, and more willing to let a friendship develop.
About the Author: This article is taken from the new special report by Royane Real titled "Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation" Improve your social life and download it today at http://www.lulu.com/real
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