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Too Many Blondes Spoil the Show
Suddenly I don't want to be Hugh Hefner anymore. It seemed like a really good idea, in theory - you know, you live in a beautiful mansion, have all the money in the world and hot, sexy women at your beck and call day and night. Now ... I don't know. Not so much anymore. See, I just finished watching one and a half episodes of the new reality show 'The Girls Next Door' which is about Hugh and his nine or ten girlfriends and their life in his mansion. And it turns out that there's a bit of a fly in the ointment. Problem is, these beautiful women ... they talk.
Don't get me wrong. Women should talk. I'm not disputing their right to, either. But these women ... well, let me put it this way: the saying 'dumb blonde' is not about to be replaced by the new saying 'genius blonde' any time soon. They aren't great conversationalists.
It's not that beautiful women can't be smart or interesting. It's just that they have no incentive to be. No matter what comes out of their mouth, most heterosexual men are going to pay attention to them as if they were Monday Night Football. They have one commodity - their youth and good looks - and when that's gone, it's gone.
I truly feel sorry for Hef in this. He's an extremely intelligent and well read man and even fistfuls of Viagra can't make up for all the time he isn't in bed with them and he has to wade in that shallow brain pool. And the poor guy's getting old. He's up there near eighty and on the show it's really obvious. He's stooped over and he shuffles when he walks. Before when you used to see Hef lounging in his bed in his PJs it looked like he was getting ready for the bedroom activities to follow. (If you know what I mean). These days it looks like he needs to be there and he wants the cameras to leave, so he can nap. Then all of these girls each have their own little yapping dog, so that the mansion is aswarm with these cute little animals who have no other purpose there than to be cute, because all of these beautiful women are lonely and b-o-r-e-d owning only about one tenth of the time of a very busy executive.
These girls pretend like being one of a half dozen of a harem to this geezer is their dream come true, but how much of this can we believe? Naah. It's gold digging. Plain and Simple. Which I guess I can kind of respect, because what else do they have going for them?
Ok. So Hugh's pretty much in it for the sex. We can agree on that, can't we? But, when women are living together in a house they tend to cycle together. (Scientifically proven in studies). This means that once a month, poor old Hugh has to put up with all of these non-brain surgeons being witchy at the same time and he can't get nothing from any of them. All he can do is try to get away from their yapping dogs and hide in one of the mansion's many hiding areas.
Does it look like I might have some sour grapes here?
Yes! Oh, please, Hef invite me over to the mansion. I can take over some of the load of listening to your hot girlfriends. Really. I'd be more than happy to do this.
About the Author: Steve Sommers new book, Evil Super-Villains Need Love, Too ... and other important wisdom, is available at http://www.lulu.com/content/317958.
His novel, REXROI, is available at http://www.lulu.com/content/306670
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